2012

Lloyd Dobler goes from saving the girl to saving the day in this big budget, heavily CGI-ed action romp filled with cast of talented actors clearly slumming it to break into the Hollywood consideration set.

What’s the deal?

John Cusack has never been an action star and, after watching 2012, he still really isn’t one. But that’s okay, because Cusack does everyman very well, and in 2012 plays frustrated writer/limo driver/everyman Jackson Curtis. Much more his territory. Curtis takes his estranged kids on a camping trip in order to bond with them post-divorce and accidentally stumbles upon a top-secret government site, where he meets….Adrian Helmsley (Chiwetel Ejofor), an American (of course) geologist who basically discovers that earth’s core is about to combust and mankind has only a couple of days left. Upon alerting the government, the heads of the world decide to save the human race by constructing some ambiguous ‘ships’. But there’s a catch – only 400,000 will be saved and they are either powerful, extremely wealthy or hand-picked by geneticists. When Curtis hears about the ships, there’s no way he and his family are going to miss out, thus kickstarting some planes, trains and automobiles action from California to China.

It’s good!

2012 is a ridiculous film with bizarre special effects...but overall, I didn’t mind it. It had all the typical clichés – heroic American president (there’s always one), divorced dad saving the estranged fam, crazy-but-correct conspiracy dude etc etc – but the writing and narrative were actually pretty good. It doesn’t totally give away the plot, utilising some good devices to keep the audience intrigued. Nor are there any convenient deus ex machinas. The world is not going to be saved at the last minute by some smart-arse muscle machine – the only way to survive is to get on the very ambiguous ship.

What’s wrong with you?

Love, whether through reunion of family or the sudden discovery of one’s soulmate, is a recurring major theme in apocalyptic movies. Apocalypse films function in a constant cycle of love, hope and death. So it's disappointing that the love story between Helmsley and presidential daughter Laura (Thandie Newton) felt tacked on. These two are supposed to be the bleeding-hearts - the moral compasses of the film - yet spend the entire time calmly flirting as billions perish around them. It just seemed inappropriate. The effects are impressive and painstakingly detailed, but obvious CGI effects. I hate that. I thought the idea of effects was to make it look vaguely realistic instead of grandstanding, ‘Hey, I’m a fucking big effect, aren’t I awesome, look at me’. This is evidenced in the car sequence after Curtis saves his family – it was just ridiculously laughable.

Neo-Maxi Zoom Dweeb-ery

Sure, there are cheesy lines and the relationships are a little bit too neatly tied together, but it’s done in a non-offensive way. The characters are surprisingly given a bit more depth than the standard action/sci-fi. Props in particular for the characterisation of stepdad George (Tom McCarthy), who could’ve easily been depicted as a douche but was allowed some actual growth. Truth?

Well, why should I go see it?It’s slightly better than your average action flick. Plus...John Cusack Theda Bara-esque eyeliner, I guess.

#Apocalypse #Action #JohnCusacksEyelinerTattoo #NetflixnChill